its called love, babe...

=)

 

Anti Homecoming Weekend Extravaganza! (sp?)

mood:  pumped

music: coheed and cambria

gotta love emo third person update

so surprisingly and inappropriately enough, im not as upset and crazy angry and affected by the shittiness that is an immature boy as i should be. but thats good.

damn i wish i was a lesbian sometimes lol

so i had a lovely anti-homecoming weekend, even if all didnt go exactly as planned and 25% of the ppl involved actually were involved. but it was super. 

friday night, work sucked. just uber busy. but i got to cook my own chicken sandwich and it was lovely delicious.

early sat. morning got to vickis and we watched a crapload of movies and it was great fun. and then we got ready for the show and kent drove us there. lovely kent with the sweetest hair in the world! holy cow!

went to the show, and despite the drama and the critter, IT KICKED SO MUCH ASS! Reflux gave me chills, holy cow, (hot bassist evan sure didnt hurt at all lol), and then Adelaide followed up with holy greatness. but of course, who'd expect less? those kids. and super hot nick in a super hot pink port huron hoodie dancing with all the "hardcore" edge dancers, lol. great times great times. 

i need to learn how to play that snaps game...that was weird.

and then today i drove home from vickis, which was fun. fun fun stuff. and now we're going bowling tonight
, which means i should be crazy tired tomorrow! woohoo!

but no, really im pumped. Canadian Thanksgiving tomorrow,and i made cookies. my yummy cookies, not to brag.

Posted on Oct. 10th, 2004 at 05:35 pm

I hate Baker a lot. It's two weeks into fall quarter and I probably won't start my internship for another two weeks. Good news is I have all my part done, there are only 3 students including me who are definitely doing everything this quarter, and there are 2 walgreens who said they'll definitely take students in port huron. The chances of me getting into one aren't so slim. I'm just anxious to get started and get my degree. I've also been ignoring the fact that I need a computer elective credit to graduate too, but I'm hoping to test out of it. I should figure that out.  

My favorite memories I have are my thoughts I had when I was younger. I distinctly remember everything I said I was going to do when I grew up, and it's really fun to remember them and know how little value I place on them now. 

Fall is wonderful. It makes me miss being at SC4 a lot. I loved going to class and walking around campus. I've never been excited for anything at baker. The campus is cold and ugly and the classes are no fun and not challenging. It makes me want to go back to school to do something else, just to feel like a college student again.

dude, i just found out today that jada pinkett smith is in a "metal" band. i found it interesting. it's called wicked wisdom. its pretty much not good at all, but yeah.

thought i would share.

So, June 29 is when I'm supposed to start my externship. I met with the coordinator for those this morning who informed me she has no idea what is going on with them. Its pretty awesome, not gonna lie.

I went to TJ Maxx after I got out of class 2 1/2 hours early and hit the jackpot. I was pretty pumped up about it.

This entry shows you how uninteresting I am.

In the firelight, all I can see is her bald spot.
It's a reminder of how everything beautiful
Has an ugly underbelly
An ugly lovehandle
An ugly secret.
When only the embers remain,
it will no longer be visible;
the vision recreated,
reestablished,
once again in tact.
We can go on ignoring the facts,
and worshiping half the story.

Fuck that stupid slut. My teacher asks the class, what is Addison's disease? and I say, isn't that where the skin appears to be bronzed? and she's says, no, it's an adrenal disease, duh duh duh duh blah blah. I knew it was an adrenal disease, one of the symptoms is bronzed skin and that is how I remember it. Also, apparently John F. Kennedy had it or was rumored to have it. Anyways, for one second I thought I might be wrong. Looked it up, totally right. So NOW the entire white trash class probably thinks I'm an idiot because they would believe the white trash teacher over me.
I'm really not that concerned.

I found my Sisterhood of the traveling pants pants in dress form. I bought it at Target and it makes me happy. Fun things need to happen so I can wear it everywhere.
I should make it clear that the dress is not made out of denim and I haven't written stupid shit all over it.
And I'm not sharing.

As she stares at him in the rearview mirror,
and at the knife
-mostly at the knife-
she thinks about the
unpaid bill on her bathroom counter.
She had been figuring out her finances
while she figured out her eyeliner.
It would never get taken care of
but does electricity really cost for them to provide?
or are we just paying for the service?
The knife was reflecting
her reflection
back at her, which was odd,
and added to the eerie glow from headlights
in the distant land ahead.
She knows she'll never reach there,
them with the lights,
illuminating her fate.
She looked where his eyes should be,
trying to say, "Wait!"
"What about the guy who said he'd call next week?
We would have had two kids,
a boy and a girl,
and a puppy
and a white fence.
I would have gotten plastic surgery to keep myself
young for him,
alluring if you will,
and to stay afloat in the P.T.A. world."
She didn't find his eyes
He didn't hear her plea
(silence)
(nothing)

I feel invigorated by sleep deprivation...I think that makes me a strange individual.

I want to not have school ever again. I also want to not have work ever again. I just want to chill the fuck out and do as I please.

If only the world wasn't so damn cruel...

This boat is for real!

It's nice to be loved and wanted
even when it's all pretend.
If you were able, would
you pick up the pieces again?
would you put them back in order
in attempts to end the same?
or rearrange them to find
a new light shed in vain?
in either scenario you lose
a glimmer in your eye
a skip in your step
a necessary white little lie.
If the real thing came along,
could you drop the act?
Your histrionic life has failed,
how about one based in fact?
A flawed piece will fit
only in an imperfect puzzle
but when every piece is flawed,
you're left with only rubble.
It's great to be accepted in full,
even when it's just pretend.
Honesty is gone, trust a myth...

(black)

when you wear lipstick
I always want to kiss you
but you always use your lipstick
as an excuse not to kiss me

you only want to kiss me in the morning
when you have morning breath
or at noon
when you have coffee breath

maybe I should wear lipstick too, maybe I should wear lipstick too...

why did bret michaels choose taya? she's gross

zira just spit up water into my mouth

Some goals:

-Be on time for stuff.
-Lose 5-10 lbs. by June.
-Get all A's in my spring quarter/don't skip any classes.
-Continue to not live paycheck to paycheck.
-Get a rockin' haircut.
-Get a new tattoo.
-Part ways with my lip ring. =(
-Read 5 books by end of summer.
-Write at least 5 good pieces by end of summer, and submit at least 3 of them to various contests/publications.

I know I had more, but I can't think of them now. I'll add later.

We found a bunch of old letters and postcards in the attic from a dude who used to live here from 1945 (he was fighting in wwII). Anyways, it turns out that our realtor lady knows the son of that man and he lives not too far from here. We invited him over to come see the house as it is now (he hasn't been here since he was 14 and he is now 65) and to give him his father's things. I think its very exciting and I can't wait to hear his stories.

All the stuff that had been figured out with my school last semester got screwed up this semester, and I had to re-do all my substitutions. Everything is all set now, and after next semester I only have my internship left and then I graduate. I'm pumped, but I know I won't be able to get a job where I want or for how much I want right now. I'm hoping I can at least get a decent job until a good one opens up, but I guess I have bogey's in the meantime.

I cut my thumb on a steak knife last night while doing dishes. I now have a very awkwardly placed band-aid on the tip of my thumb and its driving me insane.

I'm excited for Cinema Wasteland in a few weeks.

I'm not excited for not having someone to rent out the Lakeport house anymore. If anybody wants to rent a house, let me know.

the first thing I say in the morning is "fuck that shit"

I finally have an office, yay! unhooking and rehooking up a computer is a process. Easy, but annoying. That is why laptops are so awesome.

I'm pumped about sitting at a desk to use the computer.

And that is the only reason I updated.

A few more days and perhaps I will be caught up. Housewise, homeworkwise, moneywise, sleepwise.

Shurline paint edger is my favorite invention ever. I think I'm going to email the company and tell them this.

Income taxes kick ass! I just need the 31st to hurry up and deliver my school form.

I want to go clothes shopping in the spring. I haven't bought anything pretty in forever.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blame_Game_(MTV)

figured it out after all these years! that used to be my favorite show, i couldn't remember the name of it. oh memories...they've been popping up all over the place...

I don't understand when people talk about studying all the time. Maybe exam week, okay. But throughout a whole semester of school, constantly studying? You don't do that. Maybe if studying is doing homework to you, perhaps that is acceptable. But I just don't get it.

The cool thing about having an old house is finding cool stuff. Dale found a newspaper clipping nailed with a carpet molding that said Truman persuaded to cool his temper. I thought it was pretty neat. 

I can't go to sleep without Dale. Dale is in the basement sleeping because Joni and I were working up here to get stuff ready for carpet tomorrow. (Thanks Joni!) Joni is the best for helping us, I love her. The more I get to know her and talk to her the more I realize how awesome we are. Haha.

I'm excited for carpet, and perhaps with that brings some normalcy. I am soooooo broke its ridiculous.

Sometimes I wish I was more normal.

Good news: school is shaping up and I can faintly see graduation happening in the near-ish future. I have five classes winter semester, three spring, an internship in the summer and then I'm done. Hopefully wherever I intern will love me enough to offer me a job there, so I don't have to do that annoying job search thing. I am pretty sure I am one of very few people who will graduate this summer with my degree, so I shouldn't have too much competition flooding the market. My teacher this semester is a pharmacy tech who makes $8.81 an hour, which scares me. She doesn't have her degree, she's fat and ugly, and the Rite Aid she works at doesn't recognize her certification, so I think I will win on all levels to make more. The average salary is in between 12 and 15 dollars an hour, which isn't much better than what I get now but will include benefits and not be Bogey's. I will have a college degree (which apparently you need or you aren't smart) and a job in that degree, and I can do other things in the future. One good thing about graduating at 20-there is a future.

Speaking of future-I voted! And the dude I voted for totally won, so its all because of me. I was (sort of) surprised at the results in a pleasant way. I'm happy Prop 1 and 2 passed for us, and pissed that Prop 8 passed in California. Self-important Christians are such nigger faggots.

I'm hungry.

I am sick of buying a house. After being jerked around for a month and a half, I still haven't closed on my house. Dale is worried about money, I'm worried about my desk and bedset i want to buy. Its just a silly time right now. we'll be depending on my stepdad to help us fix things up, and depending on Dave never ends up good. He kind of sucks, and I think he has a weird thing with holding power over other people and making them beg him to help them. It is strange. i have been busy with window shopping for the new house, packing up the old house, and doing a lot of worrying. I've been wanting to go clothes shopping, go to lunch with Kaitlin and Alissa, go visit AMY who I don't see often enough....but money and time is scarce, and I'm no fun right now anyway. I can't wait to stop being consumed with house things, hoarding money to make sure I have enough for closing. I started my two online classes today, and although I've been dreading school, I am glad to have something else to worry about and take up my time. I am excited to have a class to go to and maybe look pretty for class sometimes. I never look pretty anymore, because I work in a greasy kitchen and I have other things to worry about. I am close to getting my degree, even closer to getting my first official home and making it our own, but its not going fast enough. I'm so impatient. i can't help it.

I'm stressed to the max, and I have no one around me who is not stressed, who is not emotionally distraught, who is not in an upheaval, or who has anything encouraging to say. It is not helping.

Good news-Zira is a beautiful puppy and she is growing fast. She is finally gaining weight and her ribs stopped showing. Also, i'm excited to vote. Its something I've been wanting to do since I was in fifth grade. Its exciting that I actually like the Democrat who's running too.

Weird news- i had a crazy dream last night that I got a sex change and was now a boy. In my dream I was 15 and had always known I was supposed to be a boy. When I woke up, I had to double check that it was not a manifestation of some secret desire to be a boy. Although I like titties, I like having them more. And I like pee-pees. And wearing dresses. So all is good.

Back to good news- I love my car. I fill it up once every two weeks...and its only a 10 gallon tank. So that helps my wallet immensely. I love air conditioning too. I'll probably use it all winter.

Random news- I need a new winter coat soon. I got the itch for a white peacoat this year, but that's a bad idea. A peacoat of some color would do. I want a heavy duty houndstooth peacoat. Also, I think I will ask for wii games for christmas presents. I want some but I don't want to buy them. I also want a keytar.

Someone come make me coooooookies.

our talk is cheap, but the phone bill is not.

I went around the world today.
first, paris.
i then swam in the atlantic ocean!
then yosemite park.
finally, i rested in honolulu before heading home.

i'm sorry about the travesty that preceded. i'm just that bored. and macs are so fun.